Eloheim on Relationships

We hold a monthly Q&A with Eloheim during which Eloheim answers questions from folks tuning in online.

This page includes the questions Eloheim has answered on relationships The date after each question indicates the date of the meeting when this question was answered. Visit the shopping area to access the meeting downloads.

Interesting month. My daughter was in the hospital for 3 days – lots of drama around that. She stopped breathing just about the time her friends got her to the hospital. I imagine you can pick up on the energy – it was serious. She is fine now. On day 4 I had a very freaked-out (in a conscious way) meltdown about the whole ordeal and cried after wards because I know my energy affects others and myself but I was really way beyond my point of smiling and patience. Then my car went into the mechanic (for the second time) to fix a problem that had been going on for several weeks. I have also been having several pesky plumbing problems in my bathroom which I will have to call someone about after I do a major cleaning. This past week my son got a job (Miraculous) but he doesn’t drive and have to get him to and from work somehow which will cut down on my sleeping time before I HAVE TO BE AT WORK for my job. I know I’ll get it all figured out but my question once again is WHY?? Does the road to ascension have to be this difficult? I have really tried to focus on not being mean to myself and your discussion this past Wednesday regarding not projecting gloom and doom into the future has been great but I’m just SO TIRED as I think many of us are. It’s difficult to find a peaceful place in my heart when I have so much “busy work” to attend to. Could you just give me and all of us some HOPE that we are working towards a better way of living in this lifetime? I think we HAVE A PRETTY GOOD IDEA ABOUT what’s wrong but what about us but perhaps we need to hear what’s right – there has to be a light and the end of the tunnel. 2011 02 20 Meeting

I am in a “relationship” with a man who is the father of my children. We live together and he is the breadwinner and I really can’t stand much about him at all… He nearly makes my skin crawl we are so different and he is sooooo not trying to be spiritual seeking AT ALL. I want to get out of this situation, but, not only I don’t know how (no income) but I also wonder if this is serving me better being here and let this go through some process to be more conscious at the end?

The kids also have a hard time being around him… he is soooo conditional and angry and narcissistic… he is just really hard for any of us to swallow… what is the “best” scenario to play out for us all? 2011 02 20 Meeting

I would appreciate insight about my relationship with my Mom. I feel that this relationship, more than any other, has been a lifelong growth producing challenge. My husband and I moved in with Mom in January, a mutually supportive decision, as her health has been deteriorating, and we had faced many challenges ourselves with our employment, housing, etc. There is some dance we’ve been doing together my whole life, where I take on the parent role in the emotional and psychological sense, and yet keep myself dependent on her financially to one degree or another. I would love to have a breakthrough about this, and create as healthy a relationship as I can with Mom while she’s still here in the physical. I’d appreciate hearing about anything I may not be seeing clearly and what next steps I can take toward wholeness within myself and in this relationship. I am willing! 2012 08 19 Meeting

I have been enjoying a new relationship for about 3 months. Due to new circumstances in this man’s life (family, work etc) he isn’t as available as he used to be. I can see this is my first choice, since the relationship doesn’t have a future, and I need time to finish projects that I have going on. He remains loving and communicative as do I. However, am feeling so much rejection! And I’m so embarrassed about feeling this way. I know it is the survival instinct, and —Do you see anything else going on with me that is making this so painful? I’ve been notebook-ing and coming into the moment is easy-(intellectually the situation is very clear), but it’s like I just keep feeling like a victim of his choices. Yesterday this played out in a huge headache, no sleep at night and I crashed my front bumper today. Thanks for your help. 2012 08 19 Meeting

I am experiencing a hard time with staying balanced when interacting with my family. I have looked at the dynamic a lot and I would love it if you could guide more in regards to this subject….what I have found through my own discovering is that I have a very hard time staying centered whenever I see someone having a hard time. I immediately want to help because I think if that were me I would want someone to help me. I know I am the creator and I think maybe where the misalignment in me is that I wrestle with watching someone in hard times and to just say to myself they are a creator..this is what they want….I can’t seem to lean into that comfortably…I am experiencing this daily when interacting with my family…I keep creating it…all I want is to heal myself from the pain I feel when watching them. 2012 09 16 Q&A Meeting

I am currently going through an ongoing generating event involving another one of my family members moving in with me and I have been holding and visualizing the girls and receiving a lot of insight regarding the much broader view on the situation. At the same time I am still feeling a deep sad emotion in my heart during the whole process. I know I am doing well on the subject and have had great transformation so far. I am wondering when you look at the energetics of it if you see that I could use your guidance on that subject? If you think I am on the verge of transforming this on my own…then I would like to try that and here is a back up question…….can you take a look at the energetics with my ears they have been painful and filled with fluid. 2012 05 20 Meeting

HOW and WHY is it that a child can manifest very similar experiences to their parent often around the same age as the parent when the parent had the similar experience? 2010 05 16 Meeting

If my husband mirrors me, wow! He stubbed his toes on a chair and blamed me. Was it about me or him? 2010 05 16 Meeting

I was there at the amazing meeting Wed night and have experienced some anxiety since then. Is that just the adjusting to the energy shift? 2010 01 17 Meeting

Lately, some very motherly feelings have been awakened in me, especially around my younger brother (13) and the baby my sister just found out she’s having. Even though I’m not very close with my sister and wasn’t around when she was trying to get pregnant, I have a feeling like I helped bring this child into being. I feel a special connection to this potential child—what can you tell me about it and all my warm motherly feelings in general? 2010 10 10 Meeting

Since the first time I picked up a Nintendo controller in the mid 80’s, I have had a hard time managing the time I spend playing video games. This has caused some strain on the relationships I’ve had, which include friends, family, and significant others. I’ve managed to find balance on this issue somewhat recently, but while I can control the frequency in which I engage in this activity, once I start there is a small part of me that is always insisting on one more level, one more song or setlist, etc, etc. During our one-on-one session over the phone, my unhealed core emotion was revealed to be “am I just going to watch?”, which makes sense as it applies to the past since playing games was perhaps the one thing that was truly interactive to me, but presently, I still feel that it is interfering with some of the things I am really wanting to get accomplished. 2010 11 21 Meeting

I am having some boundary energetics. My Father wants to live alone again and is making grandiose plans that he is repeating obsessively. Is there anything I could focus on when my Father chooses to repeat his plans verbally over and over? I truly wish to encourage his independence here, and my attitude is fluid though resistance is present. What am I missing here? 2010 11 21 Meeting

In what way can I serve my children without constantly coming into conflict with what their father thinks is always best for them and without weakening my own position? 2010 12 19 Meeting

I find working with a family member drains my energies. Am I violating my own boundaries or is this a new assignment that I have taken on? 2011 05 15 Meeting

I have been practicing boundaries the last couple of days which has been challenging, and I seem to be determined. I’ve noticed a lot of anger consuming me before, during, and after situations where I speak my truth. It feels very low vibration and tight. Can you shed light on how I can heal this? 2012 03 18 Meeting

I ended a relationship with someone I still love, about a month ago, because he had promised me things and then not delivered on them, and I felt we were in a power struggle and I had to accept everything his way. I haven’t heard from him and I still feel a foolish lingering sense of hope that he will deliver on his promises, and resentment that he has just walked away with no sense of obligation or responsibility. Can you shed some light on how to get closure in this situation please? 2012 03 18 Meeting

I’ve been estranged from my only child, my 40-year-old son, for five years. He has lived in Germany for many years. My failed attempts at reconciliation, which mainly consist of me defending and explaining myself, have led me to just leave him alone, as he seems to wish. His wife is very much a part of the estrangement. Could you explain this situation to me with some sort of resolution for my broken heart?
2011 11 20 Meeting

I love the energetic of being on the rock with the emotional flows about the rock. It has helped me when visiting my Father. He is listening to my training on deeper breathing. Can you review my energies and open more doors on observing emotional issues to still further reduce the fire hose of emotions? 2011 11 20 Meeting

Recently I noticed that energy is moving in chunks, I do a step and process is interrupted, next step– and wait time again. Like in example with the house I placed an offer on, and it was taken out of the market. Could you explain what is going on. Plus, I am working on deeply ingrained attachment to have a romantic relationship and sometime get disappointing asking where is this man for me? Could you, help me please in looking at the bigger picture in romantic relationships dynamic for me to heal? 2011 11 20 Meeting

My daughter has decided to move to Bogota Columbia. It’s triggered me into feeling as if I won’t see her again. I know that’s not true but it’s so hard to be happy for her. How do I support her while being sad and fearful? 2011 11 20 Meeting

Someone has made a dramatic entrance into my life – a man who seems to be Very significant for me and is doing his best to ‘chizzle’ through to the greater me – from a distance. Falling away are many of the withholds I’ve absorbed just to get through the experiences of these past years with my growing up family during my parent’s end times. There are amazing recognitions that we experience. It is fun to see and sense the mirrors of such similarities in our life lessons and experiences, joyfulness, and lots and lots of fun – I have not experienced such humor and liveliness and openness in my life from another in a long long time, perhaps never in this lifetime. I’d love a bit of clarity regarding the relationship, our potential and the many realities of it. All that has happened has evolved without the benefit of physical presence; otherwise I probably would not be asking the question. We’d just know in this now moment the truth. We do,…and, yet, there are still a number of weeks before we will be meeting face to face. 2011 11 20 Meeting

I’m getting better at neutral observation, but one person really triggers me. I have a knee jerk reaction and remember neutral observation too late – how can I change that? 2009 10 11 Meeting

Distinguishing service from simply caring for/lovingly encouraging another (specifically my father) is still difficult for me. Please elaborate on what is true now in relationship in offering opportunities to change. 2009 11 15 Meeting

First I want to thank both you and Veronica for my last session. My life is literally functioning differently now and I am still playing catch-up. It has been a very crazy and good few weeks. So my question is, you have described physicality as basically a “Holo Deck” or our “world” is the reflection of what we put out energetically, our inner life expressed. So what I want to know is what is the real relationship between us and the people, and all other things, we encounter in our individualized physical realities? Are they “Real” people and if so how real? 2012 01 15 Meeting

My current year-long relationship is really working my core emotion: “Am I good enough for you/this?” My boyfriend says he loves me and wants to spend his life with me, but he watches porn yet won’t have sex with me, and calls me needy and insecure for wanting an occasional compliment or more than one hug or kiss a day. A month ago, he moved out to the sofa and hasn’t even been sleeping next to me, yet he insists everything is fine. There is so much good here that I don’t want to give up – he’s got a huge heart, is playful, loves animals, is amazing with my 2yo son though he doesn’t want to be called daddy. He’s my best friend, and I really want him in my life. Despite the good, I haven’t been able to get past this intense continual feeling of heartache and rejection. I can own that he’s my creation and reflection, and that the heartache and sadness are my own reactions to him, but it’s been deeply painful for me despite the joys. I don’t think I’m insecure and needy for wanting to be wanted, cuddled with or made a priority, but trying to give up those desires (he says he needs me to back off) hasn’t been working – I just end up exploding after 2-3 weeks every time I force myself to stop asking him for anything. What am I not seeing? Where do I go from here? I know this is a huge opportunity for growth but haven’t gotten past the pain. Is this dynamic somehow affecting my ability to get off of welfare, as well? He thinks I’m crazy and creating drama, and I’m honestly starting to wonder if he’s right… Can this work? 2012 01 15 Meeting

I went out last night to meet a client who had stopped in town to play a gig. He was accompanied by his partner, her aunt and her aunt’s roommate. Overall I had a good time. I just want to know one thing: Why do I still keep spoiling my interactions with people by projecting or creating some kind of oppositional feeling? I felt that my client’s partner was somehow angry with me at one point in the evening, or that I was somehow “ruining” the evening just by being there. Everyone noticed that my client and his partner were both unhappy towards the end of the night, and of course I went right to thinking that I was somehow wearing out my welcome. For all I know it was some lover’s spat, but even if it was actually about me, why would I create that? It is all too obvious what I am doing because I am now getting back into the world and finally starting to be around more people again. I want to have gallery shows in the future and I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like if I keep projecting this stuff. I did this a couple of weeks ago as well when another client of mine came into town on business. It is still hard to stay around people for too long after what I had created a few years ago. 2011 07 17 Meeting

I’m going through a lot of change right now. I have sold my house and will be moving to an area where I barely know anyone. I’m also planning on starting a new soul based business when I get there. I recently made the decision to split from a very long term relationship because I felt we weren’t compatible anymore and he was also feeling enormous resistance to moving out of the area where he has lived all his life. Shortly afterwards, having let go of expectations from him, I suddenly realized that I had been the one generating all the static between us. The audio download from this Wednesday’s session was very powerful and I’m now wondering if ending the relationship was the wrong decision and if better options might be available. 2011 07 17 Meeting

About a month ago, my 19-year old daughter that was living with her father came to live with me and her sister. He was very violent towards her and she didn’t feel it was safe around him anymore. I still am afraid of him even though we have been divorced for 12 years. I had to get up the courage to ask him for child support. He absolutely refuses to give me any money and I don’t have finances to retain a lawyer and I don’t like going to court. I get so furious and stuck in my anger but then feel like I have no recourse and feel like a victim again. I’d love some direction on how to deal with this. 2011 07 17 Meeting

What’s the underlying issue here? About twice a year the mother of my husband’s children decides she does not want them anymore. I do not want to “inherit” them. Is my fear of her sending them on the bus and disappearing again re-creating this situation? Am I learning I have a right to say “No” by putting me on the spot in a situation where the answer can only be “No.” I have chosen not to be a mother. For me sacrificing my life looking after someone else’s kids is my personal idea of hell. 2011 07 17 Meeting

What was there for me to learn about from Buddy’s experience at the groomer’s and the vets? I think there’s more there than just being about money and/or appreciating my husband. 2011 07 17 Meeting

In February, my intuition led me to ask out a guy I’d been gradually noticing for the last 4 months or so. He accepted, but despite his assurances that he was interested, I found myself crying a number of times as my “hopes were dashed” – he didn’t call when he said he would, didn’t show up or follow through on tentative planes, and we have only officially met up a scant few times over the last 2.5 months. He says it’s just timing and that it’s not personal, and I know he’s been hurt in the past, and my intuition seems to sense he’s telling the truth. Yet I long / “need” physical contact and more demonstration of interest than he’s shown. Again, my intuition says to hang with it, despite “common perception” that such actions mean he’s not interested.

Is this a lesson for me to detach from “needs” or “desires” in a relationship, like someone eagerly seeking me out, calling more frequently, and physical touch? What is the difference between having conscious needs/desires and being needy? How much of what I think I need do I need to let go of? 2011 04 17 Meeting

I seem to attract low-vibrational people; they seem to flock to me. What do you suggest I can do to attract a higher vibration of people? 2011 04 17 Meeting

This week I am being triggered by a cousin of mine graduating. I want to transform this because I have had this issue since I was younger and I just want to heal it more than anything. The thing is that when I was younger I grew up in a very poor environment and we were kind of seen as the scrubby kids in the family; poor and always getting into trouble a lot. My cousins are younger than me and I see how the family treats them so differently. They make a bid deal about all their achievements and birthdays and how they do sports etc. The family never cared about our birthdays and we were too poor to participate in sports in school. I know I am sounding very victim mentality about this and what I am feeling is a lot of anger towards the fact that growing up nobody really cared about our situation or tried to help and yet my cousins are praised for everything they do. I know I create my own reality and I always am proud of the things I made it through as a kid but still I have an emotional response to the situation. Can you point me in a direction for transformation on this? I know I am not a victim but the emotion of it is hard to transform for me. 2011 06 12 Meeting

The question I have is about my dad. My dad is the only person remaining in my life that I feel continues to invade my day-to-day life with negative energy. There is a lot to this, but on a simplified level, he is the typical plugged-in, closed-minded mirror of the mass consciousness. While I am working to embrace uncertainty, my dad continues to try and push certainty onto the situations in my life (that involve him) so that he in turn can be certain of things in his own. This is extremely frustrating due to the fact that he is attempting to make plans around my living situation (I live in a house he owns), which in turn leaves me feeling rushed to make rash decisions. I’m anxiously awaiting the day that I am free of any obligation to my father, but until then, I’m stuck DREADING having to even speak with him (I simply can’t stand him anymore). Can you provide any helpful insight or anything that may help me with this? 2011 06 12 Meeting

I know I haven’t found “the perfect place” to move, but what I have available to me is really beautiful and has so much of what I want. My roommate has let me know in exact terms what is missing in my chosen place. In frustration over both his correctness and negativity I barked at him to stop. The interesting part is that I created all of this! Wow. How might I now create a voice of positive support? 2011 06 12 Meeting

How can we be more conscious with our partner? 2011 01 16 Meeting

I am triggered almost instantaneously by my Mother-in-law. We have lived next door to each other the last two years and I will be moving in the next few months. However, I feel on some level that I am here to heal our relationship before doing so. I have made a lot of progress such as setting boundaries and owning things about her personality that drive me crazy, and I still can’t accept her. Is there something else I am missing or is it simply time to move on? 2012 04 15 Meeting

The other night I was waitressing and a customer got very upset with me because I brought him the wrong appetizer. He proceeded to yell loudly at me in a very crowded dining room. At first I was bewildered by his reaction, but then I ran to the tools. The first tool I used was pulling my energy back to myself, next I jumped to “Wow, what is this going to teach me”, then I jumped to what is my right elbow doing, and then I started to get really mad. Finally he yelled at me to “keep my head in the game” and I replied, “Yes Sir” and walked away. I’m a very good waitress and his reaction bothered me for at least a week. A couple weeks ago the Warrior was talking about cleansing the wound. I tried to cleanse this but got lost in the process. Can you give me some direction on how to use this tool effectively? 2012 04 15 Meeting

I have manifested a beautiful love relationship opportunity and because of this I had dragged myself into all kinds of emotional reactions, reckless reactions and jumped to all sorts of outcomes. But now I have to wrap up some unfinished business with getting a divorce and that has posed a battle with the custody of my child and I want to move to Texas while her family is in MI. I know that If i am happy my daughter will be, there is a possibility that the court will prevent me from moving here out of the state, I am finding it very difficult to figure out how to stay in the moment through this situation what tools would be best for me to stop seeking certainty and running to outcome in this, I really really really want to move. 2012 04 15 Meeting

Does it look likely my friend to step forward for us to have a relationship or is he still going to “keep it low” and keep working? 2012 04 15 Meeting