Today’s installment of Sharing Sunday is from Mary George. Mary’s name is familiar to anyone who has followed the Eloheim material. She is our resident “techie.” She sets up and breaks down the meetings, helps with computer problems, formats the digital editions of our books, and generally manages to sort out problems of all kinds of types. Today she shares how Eloheim’s teachings have helped her. To read the other installments in our Sharing Sunday series, click here,here, and here.
I had a very contentious and difficult end to an eleven-year relationship. I discovered she had been having an affair for several months. We did not end our partnership in a friendly manner, to say the least. Over the years since then, the pain slowly, very slowly, subsided—mostly, but not completely. It was a great puzzlement. I couldn’t come to any feeling of resolution, try as I might; the hard feelings and anxiety of bumping into her remained.
One day one of my fellow Eloheim compatriots suggested that I call my ex and ask her out for lunch. Oh my god!!! Fear ran through me. No way! I’m not going to do that!! What if…. She will… I’m not doing that!
After sitting with the proposition for a while, I started to apply the tools. First, what an awesome creation! I created this opportunity. Then, fear is a choice not a mandate. My fear never made sense to me, anyway, so I thanked it for the information, decided to ignore it, and see what else was there, since everything teaches me something.
I didn’t really come up with anything but I felt I needed to make the call. You can’t have change without something changing, right? I have wanted a change in the way I had felt about this relationship but I wasn’t doing anything about it. I wasn’t doing anything differently. So, here was my awesome creation asking, “So you want change? How about this?”
I called her, she didn’t answer, I left a message. Now what? I felt better, now the shoe is on the other foot, but what if she doesn’t call back? What if she does? Where we will meet? Hey, keep the past and the future out of it! Quiet the hamster-wheel mind and stay in the moment. What is true now? I wanted and needed insight from my soul about this. I didn’t want to think about it. So I waited and I waited and I waited, keeping my intention on insight.
Finally—aha! It came to me. I felt like a victim!! Wow, I absolutely did not see that! I understand the concept of victim hood. I have recognized the opportunity to feel victimized in my current experiences but I hadn’t seen how I felt victimized in that relationship. What a relief to finally see my awesome creation in a new way. My soul must have been doing cartwheels of joy after wringing every last drop of learning from that experience.
But wait, there’s still more to learn here. I reported my “aha” to Eloheim in a meeting. I was excited about my brand-new shiny “aha.” Eloheim was supportive, of course, and then they lead me down the path to another “aha.” I could feel them holding the energetic of the moment, of my victim hood. Aha! I realized I felt like I was “right” in the relationship, I felt like my position was the righteous one. How embarrassing is that?!
Next, I asked for insight about feeling right. I have created many opportunities in my life to look at judgments. The “aha” I have gotten so far is that my feeling “right” is at the root of it. What an awesome creation! D’oh, of course! Judgments say this is right, that is wrong. How could I have missed that?!
When I look back and compare me to me, I get a feeling of accomplishment for my work of increasing my awareness, of being conscious. I see how far I have come on the path to ascension. And I can relax, knowing that I have tools that assist me in the journey to Homo spiritus. I love this journey and I love me! Taking the time to compare me to me gives me the option of gratitude rather than embarrassment. I get to take a little break and bask it the light before soldiering on to the next lesson. I earned it.
Thank you, Eloheim and The Council for all of the tools to live a conscious life with grace, ease, and bliss!!
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